Alternative Valentines Cards 2016!

February 03, 2016

Alternative Valentines Cards 2016!

Valentine’s Day cards are generally awful. They stand out amongst the other types of greetings cards for being so often devoid of any genuine meaning or significance. For example (and there are many) they often feature a bizarre breed of cherub bears holding roses or a box of chocolate, or two members of this fantasy breed kissing each other. I’ve thought about what this means and come to the conclusion that it means absolutely nothing. Despite this it’s clearly hit a nerve with great swaths of the card buying public and a whole ocean of these cards can be found here. If someone can explain to me what miniature bears has to do with your feelings for someone else please get in touch.
horrible valentines cards

As an alternative to the bizarre-pedophile-bear-culture, each year we create a handful of new Valentine’s Day cards that are 100% free from such nonsense. Here are five of our favourites that are currently on sale on our site!


5. Just wanted to let you know… I fucked Ted. (BUY)
Breaking Bad inspired card. In all relationships, honesty is always the best. Note to reader: If you didn’t personally have sex with ‘Ted” there is nothing stopping you putting a line through that name and replacing it with a more appropriate name. Although if you did, this card Is perfect for you! alternative valentines card skylar white i fucked ted

4. I find human contact repulsive. (BUY)
Larry David inspired. Straight to the point and as with our fifth choice, showcases the importance of being honest. Clear and understood boundaries are key to a great relationshipLarry David alternative valentines card

3. I think we're just gonna to have to be secretly in love with each other… and leave it at that. (BUY)
This Margot Tenenbaum inspired card shows that love is complicated and can be shown in many ways*. Perfect for telling someone they are in love with you even if they haven't thought/felt/said it yet.

2. This is who I am without you….A goddamn fuckin' wierdo! (BUY)
The people we choose to spend our lives with should bring out the best in us. If they do, let them know!


Drum roll....

1. This Could Be Us. (BUY)
President Obama inspired! Let that special someone know your love is presidential. That like Barak and Michelle your love has the potential to last not one, but two terms in the oval office. That. This. Could. Be. Us.

This Could Be Us! Obama inspired Valentine's Day card! #fourmoreyears available on the site

A photo posted by bestplayever (@bestplayever) on


*Though hopefully not via a child bear with a box of chocolates.

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